When we say that in general we do not choose, it is quite a bold statement and not accepted by society. We have been taught that choosing is what we do. Society tells us that we have options and it is true. We "choose" according to our compulsions or, in other words, our compulsions choose for us. Sometimes, after repeated failures, we can intuitively grasp these compulsions at work within us and have the realization that there really are no options but to follow them, or not to follow them... This is where our first choice might be made: not to follow my compulsions. And it's a very good option despite the difficulties that arise because if I don't follow my compulsions, how do I do it then? . What can I do differently that is not the opposite? (by compulsion too).

It is a complicated topic due to the enormous number of assumptions that are at stake when I decide to "do something". These assumptions have a moral charge in many cases and one will say, for example: "It's the right thing to do and that's why I'm doing it" but later, what was the right thing ceases to be the right thing to do or is no longer interesting to me and I look for a justification to abandon that line of action and a new compulsion appears almost by magic and there I follow it and continue repeating actions and justifications for actions.

After giving this matter a lot of thought, I have come to a simple conclusion. Usually simplicity indicates the optimal, so I've followed it. I can observe my compulsions, which is difficult despite the elegant conclusion. I can observe carefully and with more effort, I can separate without justifications or condemnations.

This observation over time becomes more and more interesting because it takes the force out of my compulsions and I begin to see and treat myself differently. It is a separation that makes me understand myself from another perspective and I begin to generate responses that are less and less compulsive, that need less and less justification and in simple words, I feel that I am more coherent, or at least I am on that path.

ILLUSTRATION BY RAFAEL EDWARDS

Translation and editing by Trudi Lee Richards